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Who Doesn't Get Ten of These a Week?
}} Vaarsuvius resorts to asking Qarr for a Faustian bargain to save his mate. Cast * Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶ * Qarr ◀ ▶ Transcript Qarr: OK, what if we concentrate on finding the dragon AFTER it's left this plane of existence? To get your kids' souls back? Vaarsuvius: Recent experiences have left me unconvinced that divinations are accurate enough to warrant doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING while my FAMILY DIES! Vaarsuvius: Begone from here, imp! You are wasting precious time if you cannot give me what I require. Vaarsuvius: Perhaps my books... Qarr: Oh, right, because I can just wave my fairy wand and POOF, you can teleport. Sure, I'll get right on that, Mr. Elf, sir. Vaarsuvius: Is that not what tempters of your ilk do? Provide those willing to bargain with any extranormal abilities they may require? Qarr: What...like a literal sell-your-soul sort of thing? Vaarsuvius: YES! You are a devil, and I require power, NOW! Do you understand? I cannot fail again!! Qarr: Whoa, buddy, I'm an imp. That sort of thing is way above my pay grade! Vaarsuvius: Then what were you offering to me just a few minutes ago? Qarr: I had some tips on using evil spell components that I was hoping to trade for helping me find some evil chalice that my supervisor won't shut up about. Qarr: If I happened to nudge you towards doing some evil in the process, hey, bonus points for me. Qarr: I mean, on honest-to-evilness Faustian Deal...I'd have to contact the home office. Vaarsuvius: Then do it! Do what you must quickly, every moment we converse reduces my chances of success. Qarr: Look, I'll put in a request for an application, but you have to understand that they only approve one or two of these things a century. Qarr: I applied on behalf of Kubota eight times, and all I ever got back was a form letter. Qarr: "We regret to inform you that your application on behalf of Daimyo Kubota of Azure City has been rejected due to insufficient projected returns on our initial investment." Qarr opens a portal to Hell and inserts a letter. Qarr: Now, it'll probably take them about an hour to get back to me with the paperwork. Vaarsuvius: An hour?!? My adopted progeny will be long dead by then, imp! Qarr: ...And it's probably a good time to mention that the application is 666 pages long. Vaarsuvius: I cannot... I cannot believe this. Vaarsuvius: Even if the dragon takes the time to gloat—which I fully expect—we may already be too— A letter appears next to Qarr, "POP!" Qarr: Huh. That's weird. Vaarsuvius: What is that? Is that the application form? Qarr holds the letter, the envelope reads: Qarr (off-panel): Not exactly. Trivia * A Faustian Deal is a deal with the devil where the person sells their immortal soul for some temporal gain. The motif is exemplified by the 16th century German legend of Faust. * The title and the final panel parody the Faustian bargain as junk mail. External Links * 631}} View the comic * 104724}} View the discussion thread Category:Vaarsuvius Makes a Deal with the Devil(s)